 | *In a Moment. . . * It's strange to me how life can be so stressful. Once we get past the stage of Braces and SATs you think that things will just get easier. We assume that people grow-up; that people stop gossiping and life just makes sense.
HA. WOW were we wrong!
After highschool is college. The place where we spend at least the two years trying to "figure" out who we are. Then there is that day when "Declaring your major" is the worse possible thing and picking one could leave out the other. If only that "simple" stress was it.
Year four out of highschool--> Moving out of state, away from family and friends; and anything even remotely familiar to pursue a career in what we think we'll love and will satisfy us.
Sadly, life just keeps getting stressful. We sit back and worry. About Bills, and work, rent, seeing friends, keeping in contact with family & friends from back home, getting gas the night before so we have those extra mins in the morning, who our agent is going to be for pilot season / or will we have to wait until next year? Working not one, or two, or three but FOUR jobs just to make ends meet and explore all opportunities. Without feeling like we're cheating ourselves.
Life is confusing and stressful. And then, just in time GOD "throws us a bone". We get a moment. Even if it's just one day out of 30 stressful ones, or simply five minutes of one day; We get it.
It's that moment of reasurance. The one day where the casting director calls you for an audition. That one day you get bumped on set. That moment in class where you feel fullfilled about your scene. The pictures you're reviewing that actually turned out. That one child who was afraid to get their blood drawn, you made them feel comfortable, and got it on the first try. It's those moments. The moments that bring satisfaction that keep us going. Recently I was at an Augustana concert at the H.O.B in Hollywood. At the end of the show, for the encore, they brought they're opening act and tour manager on stage and did a song. Everyone was dancing and beating the tamborine and singing.
I was sucked into this performance. They were all smiling and sharing microphones. You could just tell they were having the time of their lives. Here they were, two essentially unknown bands, starting to make it. This was "their moment". As we were walking out I thought how incredible it must feel to wake-up every morning and realize you're doing it. You're living your dream.
Then the next day it happened to me. I got onset and was bumped. A simple sentence from the director, "Can we please prop this patient's head up more? Where's the prop master? I can't see much of her face on Camera". Imagine my delight when then, the prop master and make team are running towards me for "my close-up". And the Director and "star" of the film are standing at the gurney I'm laying on discussing, With me, the scence we're about to do. Eight takes later and the "high" or "excitement" wasn't even beginning to diminish.
Three days pass by and I am sitting at home. Once again, worrying about above mentioned and feeling the stress, and lonliness. Why am I here? Why do I keep going?. . there are only a few things that will keep me out here and prevent me from going crazy: Faith, Support, and those moments of reasurance.
I realize that as long as I have those & continue to share them with others, I'll be okay. SLEEPY. .
Retiring from the comp. to the pillow,
*KT* |
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